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To Be A Good Nigerian Wife, You Must Die

17 ways to be a good wife

I’ve had the opportunity to study comments from Nigerian women and men and I have come to understand their definition of a good wife.

1- A good wife must pound yam in the mortar. She must not use a food processor even if it will make her life easy.

2- A good wife must not let anyone know if her husband beats her. She is not the only one who has been beaten by her husband so she has to keep quiet and take it all with a smile.

3- A good wife must be ready to please her husband sexually at all times even if she is not in the mood.

4- A good woman must watch war room and fold her arms if she discovers her husband cheats. Cheating is the nature of men so she shouldn’t cause a fuss if her husband does it. He is just being a man.

5- If her husband denies her affection, a good wife must never complain. She should get on her knees and pray. The matter is between her and her God.

6- If her husband denies her sexual attention, she must control her urge and channel her energy towards her children. A good wife should be able to kill all her sexual desires against her will.

7- If she is in an unhappy and manipulative marriage, a good woman must take the matter to master Jesus. She cannot afford to break her home up over any issues other than death

8- A good wife should beg, cry and pray to GOD if her husband is a drunk.

9- A good wife must have a male child for her husband. If she is unable to have one, she must go to different spiritual houses, drink herbs, cry, pray and fast till one comes.

10- A good wife must not earn more money than her husband. What is she trying to prove? A man is the head of the house so even if she gets a better paying job than him, she should refuse it.


11- A good wife should get ready to quit her job at some stage in her life. Who will watch the kids and look after the home?

12- If your husband body shames her by calling her fat after he knows she became fat by bearing his kids, a good woman must cry and drink all manner of slim teas to look appealing once again.

13- A good wife must never report her husband to the head the family even though his decisions are detrimental to her life.

14- If her husband gives her STD’S, she must nurse her pains silently. She will treat herself without telling anyone and resume her sexual duties to him.

15- A good wife must never complain if her husband fails to provide for the family financially but enjoys using his money to buy stuffs for himself and womanize. She must endure and pray.

16- Please don’t forget the previous thing you must do. If he beats you to stupor don’t tell anyone just stay in the marriage till you die. Your reward will be in heaven and God will punish him later.

17- I know I have said it before but just so you don’t forget, if he cheats, stay put. He will carry different girls and spend his money on them. He will fly some to Dubai and buy houses for others. When you find out, don’t do anything. Watch war room because the matter is a spiritual one. Since when did cheating become an excuse to leave a marriage?

If your aim is to be a good “Nigerian” wife,
get ready to leave the rest of your life unhappy and depressed. If you die on this quest, they will bury you, your husband will marry again and your kids will be used as slaves by the new woman.