Dear Side Guy,
Thank you for preserving so many marriages. Thank you for keeping us company and providing us with emotional attention our husbands deny us.
You see, giving birth to children takes it toll on our bodies. Our husbands stop finding us attractive afterward. They complain of our fat bodies and slackened pussy. They say our tummy rolls prevent sex and our vagina is too ugly to be eaten. We are forced to channel our energy on our little ones and hope to get the emotional warmth our husbands have denied us from them.
We go so long without sex that we forget what being held by a man feels like.
So thank you for not minding our rolls or vagina. Thank you for making us feel loved and eating us out without hesitation. Thank you for not expecting us to twerk for you or dress seductively. Thank you for understanding that there comes a time in life where things, like twerking or applying too much makeup, feel like a chore. Our husbands fail to realize that we are no longer youths. They expect too much from us without giving anything in return.
Society tells us that we are supposed to do anything we can to keep our husbands interested. They tell us to learn how to twerk, apply makeup and do crazy sex fetishes to keep him excited. No one talks about what our men should do to keep us interested so thank you for taking that into consideration side guy.
See, without you in our lives, we would have been sad and depressed. Our marriages would have ended a long time ago. You are the only reason why our husbands come home to meet us happy and always in the mood to welcome them.
You’ve been saving lives since 1990 but haven’t gotten the recognition for it